Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

To begin this story, I must let you in on one thing. I was brought up in a strict family. It is not as if I am on bad terms with my family, but to a certain extent I don't feel comfortable confiding in them and hence they know little about my personal life. (I have been working on it, things are much better now.)

So this incident goes 5 to 6 years back. It is what I remember as the worst 'fight' I ever had with my mum. My mum has a long list of rules for me, for the sole reason that I am a girl. There were many times when I feel frustrated about being constantly told what to do.

It was after a 4-days trip to Malaysia for an adventure camp. We came back to Singapore around 4 p.m. and went back to school to unload the logistics. When that was done, my friends suggested dinner. It had been a long day mainly due to all the travelling, but the enthusiasm from the camp had yet to rub off. I really wanted to join them, so I called home. Prior to that, I had texted my Mum the moment we reached Singapore. 

I remembered asking her whether she cooked dinner, and the answer was "no". So I asked her if I could join my friends for dinner. She was unhappy about it. Her reply was something like: "Aren't you suppose to be tired? Come home now." Naturally I said no, I want to join my friends for dinner. At this point, I was hungry, tired and getting a little frustrated.

I cannot remember the exact words she yelled next, but it was roughly about:
1. You are always running off somewhere with your friends 
2. You are tired so you should not stay out. (FYI, I did not tell her I was tired) 
3. Get back home now!

I was really angry about getting reprimanded when my friends were all within earshot. So I did not rebut and I went home. I reached home with a long face (more from exhaustion than anger actually) and that annoyed my Mum further. She repeated her lecture again, and well, I was not in the mood for an arguement. I have to admit, I am really bad with conflicts. I could have come up with an angry retort but I assumed that would make things worse; hence I gave her the cold shoulder and went to bed.

At the point of time, I thought she was being unreasonable and over reacted to a simple dinner request. I felt that it did not make sense for me to travel all the way home to have take-away food. It was disheartening to return home from overseas and get yelled at. I felt that she did not give me a chance to explain fully during the phone call. The next day, I was not mad anymore and I assumed things would be back to normal. When I realised my Mum was bent on ignoring me the whole day, my anger returned. I did not think I had done anything wrong and I was prepared to demonstrate the stubbornness of a Taurean. With that began one entire week of silent treatment on both sides.

Things eventually got better when my Dad stepped in to talk to me in private. So I took the first step to start a conversation with her, and things went back to normal. Although I still did not think I was out of line, I did wonder if I could have handled the situation better. The silent treatment can never solve any conflict.

While it is possible that I may have been on the receiving end of her temper due to a bad day, perhaps I made it worse by my response (or rather, the lack of it). I understand that when tension is high, one should not be too quick to come up with a rebuttal. It may have been better to make up with her the very next day. Perhaps if I had shared more about my friends with her, she would have reacted differently. Still, should I have explained my decision over the phone instead of grudgingly returning home? What should have been the appropriate response when you feel wrongly accused?